High Stakes ConversationsSM

Definition of HSC: A conversation between two or more people — email, face-to-face, phone or text messaging — in which (A) stakes are high, (B) emotions are strong, and (C) there are differing opinions.

We have all been faced with having “the” conversation — the one we need to have and we don’t — it may be in our business or our personal life…

  • Negotiating a job offer, raise, or promotion
  • Ending a relationship
  • Asking a friend to repay a loan
  • Giving a negative performance job review
  • Critiquing a co-workers work performance
  • Discussing problems in a relationship
  • Confronting a loved one
  • Giving your boss feedback on challenging behavior towards you
  • Talking to in-laws about interfering
  • Confronting a loved one, child, or teen

We keep putting the conversation off hoping the situation will magically change or we compulsively think about it and take no action. And if we muster up enough courage, we finally have the conversation — without the proper coaching or training. One of three things could occur. One: We have the conversation feeling incomplete because we didn’t say everything, we weren’t effective in what we said, and ultimately didn’t get what we wanted from the conversation. Two: We wish we never even had the conversation because of the poor outcome. And the third option is using the Coaching Intelligence system to have an effective high stakes conversation that creates a positive result.

At Coaching Intelligence® Institute, we know that the conversation is the relationship, and how well you are holding or not holding high stakes conversations determines the quality of your life in areas that matter the most. It is all based on how you can communicate your needs, wants and desires. At the same time, it’s your ability to see things from the other person’s perspective (needs, wants, and desires), and how safe you can make the conversation while you navigate it.

There are two main factors that keep us from holding High Stakes Conversations:

  • We feel we don’t know how. “I don’t know how to start it.” “What do I do once it starts?” “How do I say what I feel and think without making someone feel bad or defensive?”
  • We have strong internal beliefs and emotions about the situation and/or ourselves that result in anger, frustration, resentment, or fear of being out of control.

No matter who you are or what your profession is: It’s not if you will have a high stakes conversation, it’s when and how well you will hold it. You can prepare or repair: It’s your choice.

CII coaches you how to create common ground with safety that moves the conversation and situation to mutual agreement. You’ll create conversations that get results and bridge the gap — while being compassionate, confident, courageous, and a critical thinker in any high stakes conversation.

CII coaches you in:

  • Seeing things from multiple perspectives
  • Identifying emotions and beliefs that could be holding you back to your disadvantage
  • Creating safety to in any conversation with anyone
  • Bridging the gap to mutual purpose and resolution
  • Breaking through fear and anxiety
  • Feeling confident, compassionate, courageous
  • Implementing a strategic, step-by-step plan

“After helping me through a very important corporate negotiation, I have found Steven’s coaching to be of great value in real world applications. His insights and recommendations helped me to stay calm, focused, and relaxed through the whole communication-negotiation process.”

Dr. George Kosmides, Founder, CEO Wellness

“Steven proved to be an invaluable resource in my life — he was the only person who was able to target, identify, and crystallize stumbling blocks from my past and guide me through to a more successful, brighter chapter in my life in a very short amount of time. His communication coaching has made a huge impact both personally and professionally in getting results in those High Stakes conversations.”

Geoff Silverman, Literary TV & Film Manager, Rain Management, Santa Monica, CA